L'Ambience - White Wine

Luh-Om-Bee-Unts

Yes, it is that simple. Don't be fooled by its' name; this isn't no Pinot Grigio, Gewurztraminer or Chardonnay. Hell, they didn't even bother with 'Dry White'. This is White Wine dammit, and nothing else. Besides, at a price of just $30.99, you ain't no sommelier if you think this is something special.

Created in 2013 by Cartier Wines, L'Ambience is the definition of white girl wasted. Seriously, if you look in a dictionary under 'white girl wasted', you will probably see a photo of this heavenly bag in a box. This shit will get you wasted and dancing on tables at your local ballet in no time.

L'Ambience is cellared in Ontario, Canada, from "domestic and imported blends". Dare I say this box is the mutt of wines in Canada? Although probably true, L'Ambience offers a high quality spout considering its' price. The textured, yet smooth rubber button make you feel like you're pouring out a wine worth much more. Then you taste it: shit. This 4L, 11% box has a pale straw and a delicate nose, with notes of apple and lemon.

What I like most about this wine, aroma and high quality spout aside, is the name 'L'Ambience'. From the trying-hard-to-be-elegant box finish, and its' rich greens and golds - you would think you are in for a classy dinner party night with the freinds...on the patio, then into a hot tub and maybe a small bond fire afterwards. Something real rustic. Hell no. This is some sweet ass nectar, and you will be anything but calm. You will be the furthest thing from classy at this dinner party, let me tell you. You're friends are helping prep dinner in the kitchen? You're out front yelling at passersby. Your're friends are enjoying AAA steaks at the outdoor patio table with a sunset? You're ON the outdoor table, howling at the moon. You're friends are trying to relax in the hot tub with their "Chardonnay"? You're doing hood shots straight from the spout.

Not that any of this is unacceptable or undesirable. But let me tell you, in the morning, it will feel like you we're in a 6 hour endurance sour candy eating competition; your gums will be bleeding and your lips chapped. This is some sweet, yet dicey wine. I do not endorse this product (sorry, not sorry Cartier).


[BOXED] Rating: 4/10
Price: $30.99

[BOXED] model, Envy, poses in her mansion. "Its' a night in".

Variety: Generic Blend

Region: Unkown, World
Cellared: Ontario














Yours in boxed wine,


Benjamin