Screw it! Pinot Grigio 

Scrooooo - it

Stop everything now. This refreshing Pinot Grigio is all you need this holiday season. Screw family, friends, work and get a load of this shit right here. Screw it! Pinot Grigio is the wine gods answer to the perfect white wine.

Screw it! wines are a shelf company of 'Wine O'Clock' wines which are grown and produced in, you guessed it, the always amazing Okanagan Valley in the Beautiful British Columbia. The inception of Wine O'Clock happened near the Yakima River in Prosser, Washington at the Bunnel Family Cellars. Screw it! is their most recent endeavour, with its inception happening just two years ago.

So what is this Screw it! all about? Well, aside from a seriously attractive brand name and elegant minty box, they have extended their reputation of producing cheap 'anytime, anyplace any day' wines and focussed in on women; mainly those who just had a bad date, got dumped, got fired or maybe those who just simply cannot live without their lifeblood: wine. They also do a great job at promoting alcoholism, the following is an excerpt from their 'about' page on the website: "put aside your to do list and treat yourself". Translation call in sick, don't buy food, just stay home and get messed up. Although [BOXED] does agree with getting completely s-faced at least once a week, here at [BOXED], we do not promote calling in sick when you really aren't or picking up the kids from school hammered (thats what bus drivers are for).

Screw it! Pinot Grigio is a sweet wine, it goes down like grape juice and goes out like water. One could easily down this 5L box with its' recommended pairing (shellfish, poultry or veal) in a single sitting. It has an acididc pear/apple taste and finishes very dry. There is no need for a drip dickey when pounding this box as it comes with a revolutionary new drip spout that maximizes flow and minimizes air getting into the box.

So there you have it, oenophilias, Screw it! Pinot Grigio is for anyone, anytime and anywhere. You could serve this to a 2 year old and they'd think it tastes like old grape juice. Am I saying this is a bad thing? Definitely not. Am I saying this is quality wine? Definitely not. Either way, get yourself to the nearest watering hole and down some.

[BOXED] Rating: 7.5/10
Price: $34.99/5L
Varietal: Pinot Grigio (VQA)
Region: Okanagan Valley, BC
Cellared: Yakima River Valley, WA

[BOXED] model and expert turkey chef, Dandylion, loves her Screw it!

Yours in boxed wine,

Benjamin

Similkameen Superior - Dry White

Sa - milk - ah - meeeeeeeeeeeen

Bottled in Beautiful British Columbia, this dry white wine gives you something to write home about. BC's Samilkmaneen Valley is the unsung hero of wine production in Canada. Loacted in between Osoyoos and Keremeos, the Similkameen Valley lies just west of the famed Okanagan Valley and roughly alongside the Smilkameen River. The area has a similar climate to the Okanagan Vallley and...who cares, this isn't a geography lesson, its' a blog about fine wines and filthy hangovers. So let's get at it.

I purchased this box from the local liqour proprietor on sale for just $31.99! Talk about savings! Oh and what a sweet Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday afternoon it was. This is the box that just keeps on giving. Are bottomless pits real? Is the pope catholic!? Hell yes they are real, and the vintners of the Similkameen know it all too well. The bottomless pits, deranged nights under the stars, the sloppy hangovers..the list goes on but that is another story for another time.

Similkameen's Superior series is a collective arrangement within the valley to produce quality, affordable wine. Vintners from multiple wineries contribute grapes, and the wine is bottled at a facility in Kelowna, BC. After spending a week with this wine, I can say with confidence its' presence in my fridge will be missed. From the smooth yellow exterior to the extravagant push button, this wine is an all-around winner.

Since this is a 'dry white', a blend of pinot auxerrois, chardonnay and pinot gris makes for a full bodied wine. The nose of the wine is rather sweet smelling, and the light colour indicates a rather young batch. Finally, the wine finished with a smooth taste a pear/apple.

[BOXED] Rating: 9/10
Price: $31.99 or $34.99/4L
Variety: Mixed

[BOXED] model, Caramel, going to shred the mountain with Similkameen in hand.

Region: Similkameen Valley, Canada
Cellared: BC and Nova Scotia


Yours in boxed wine,

Benjamin

Schloss Laderheim - Riesling

Ahh.. Schloss Laderheim, the candy of my eye at the end of every workday. It has been a real treat reviewing this bountiful box of Okanagan Reisling.

Schloss Laderheim is a product of Andres Wines Ltd. Andrew Peller introduced his first wine, Hochtaler, to Quebec in 1970. Since then, Hochtaler has come a long way, producing wines such as Domaine D'or, Sommet, Copper Moon, Royal, Peller Estates and of course last night's wine baby, Schloss Laderheim.

I am so very grateful to be blessed with a local BC Liquor Store (just a 2 minute drive, or 5 minute bike ride away). I went in, picked out this stunning box, and paid. WOW! Andres Wines Ltd. did a great job with the marketing side of things, The box looks to be something out of the early 1900's and makes you feel like you are carrying something that has been aged for years. On this particular day, I was driving, but I could only imagine the jealousy I would have if I was walking or riding my bike with this wine in hand. At just $34.99 CDN, you'll feel like you stole it!

Once my arrival at home, I got the beats flowing, and the hot tub jets turned on medium, It was time to 'un-box' yet another great boxed wine product. The first thing I noticed was how easy it was to push back the cardboard tab and pull the nozzle out. The nozzle appears to be made of premium plastic and is black in colour. They even added a red rubber button to release the sweet Riesling nectar. I like to call this the "cherry on top".

While the acidity of Schloss Laderheim is high, it remained rather un-oaked. The flamboyant fruity flavours went down with ease, leaving my palette with somewhat of a bitter after taste. I highly recommend this fine product and recommend you to enjoy all 4 liters until the very. last. drop.

Thanks to one of  our[BOXED] models, Breeze, for her help.

[BOXED] Rating: 8.5/10
Price: $34.99/4L
Variety: Riesling
Region: Okanagan Valley, Canada
Cellared: Calona Vineyards, Kelowna, BC


Yours in boxed wine,

Benjamin

Let's get this party started!

Hello Oenophilias from all over the world! For those of us that prefer our wine [boxed], this will be your go to blog for reviews, news and everything to do with [boxed] wine. In this blog we will 'un-box', if you will, [boxed] wine. We will do deep inside the [boxed] wine world, or better known as, the eighth wonder of the world.

So get your shatter-proof wine glasses shined, the music pumping and let's get this party started!

Yours in Wine,

Benjamin